Okay, friends. Remember that time, long ago, when I apologized for not posting in a long time? And then immediately followed it with an even longer hiatus? HILARIOUS, I know. As penance for my horrible neglect, I’m posting right now. BUT WAIT, I’ll do you one better. I hereby solemnly swear to post at least more than once during the month of April. What would cause me to make such a bold pronouncement? Well, guys:

I AM GOING ON A ROADTRIP FOR A FUCKING MONTH IN ABOUT FOUR DAYS, HELL. YES.

Okay, freakout over. But seriously, I have been anticipating this roadtrip for quite a while now. My final itinerary will cover the following stops, in order: Seattle WA, La Grande OR, Davis CA, San Francisco CA, Las Vegas NV, Grand Canyon National Park AZ, Camp Verde AZ, Austin TX, New Orleans LA, Savannah GA, Washington DC, St Louis MO, Kirksville MO, Des Moines IA, Springfield IL.

The mileage by the end of the trip will probably total somewhere around 6,800. The number of states I will go through will be 22. The people I will be staying with/visiting will be an interesting mix of family, high school friends, college friends, and Peace Corps friends. In a word: awesome. As you can tell from the insanely ambitious number of stops I’ll be making, I’m definitely going more for travel breadth than depth. My reasons for doing it that way are numerous, and I won’t bore you with the details here. To keep things brief (or, rather, as brief as I can manage): I want this trip, I need this trip, and damnit, I’m going to take it.

Here are a few of the things I will be doing while on this trip (which I will post on here later! Hello, relevance!):
-Taking pictures of myself at state welcome signs where I find them.
-Taking pictures of Mosi when she least expects them. (yes, Mosi will be with me the entire trip. How many roadtrip friends can legally climb into your lap or poop without making you pull the car over?)
-Making a list of ridiculous things I see.
-Making a list of everything else, probably.
-Writing a new blog post every day every couple of days! (See how I’ve scaled back my plans already from my previous post? You guys will probably be lucky to get one post out of me through the whole trip.)

Enough of this boring “what-I’ll-be-doing-in-the-future” shit. You are all dying to know what I’ve been up to the past month, I’m sure. To make it more fun for me AND you, let’s play a variation of “two truths and a lie” I like to call “two things I actually did and five that I should have done instead.” I’m not giving you any hints as to which is which, though.
-Studied the Georgian alphabet, learned all of it.
-Got the swine flu shot that is required before you can go to Georgia.
-Studied basic Georgian words and phrases, can communicate slightly more than an old shoe.
-Finished sorting out which clothes to take and to leave and fully packed the ones that are going to Georgia.
-Went to a comic book convention in Seattle.
-Ate and slept a disgustingly high amount.
-Wrote a blog post a week.

Anyone who can guess the two correctly will receive a lifetime supply of mild respect for having become literate. I will post again, later, when I have at least a modicum of faux-wit about me.